When Life Gets in the Way

It has been a VERY long time since I wrote a blog. I wish I had a good excuse, but in reality I simply allowed my life to go on as it was instead of making time to share it. In the last few months we have had one family member be hospitalized to remove a brain tumor the size of a baseball, another family member entering a second round of chemo, and two coworkers/friends where one had a quintuple bypass and another started chemo. None of that was Josh, myself, or Mack (thankfully), but it affected all of us in different ways. Care packages, videos, pictures, and messages were sent.

On top of that, we gained two new family members in August – Fork and Spoon (collectively referred to as the Utensils) and they have been quite a handful. A joy, but a handful. Oh, and we started a new garage being built (due to be finished in a week or so).

To say things have been hectic would be an understatement, but here are the things we DID accomplish: school has been a success, I will finish a 100-day workout program tomorrow, and Josh has had (and continues to have) work travel. We’ve not forgotten any birthdays and are getting ready for Christmas.

When I tell people all we’ve had going on, it sounds like a lot. I feel like I have a lot going on normally, but making lists of things accomplished every week has been longer than usual. For that I am grateful we haven’t been sick or injured in any way. That said…winter is coming.

I will say the way I have gotten through all of this is making lists of things I have to accomplish each day. Not things I WANT to accomplish, things I HAVE to accomplish. This has been helpful because then if I check everything off the list I can start on things I WANT to do. This probably sounds simple, but think about all those to-do lists you make and look at them. Really look at them. How many are things you WANT to do vs. NEED to do? If you are anything like me, making lists longer during busy times doesn’t actually help me. I need my lists to represent the things that are essential and then if I have additional time I use that time as a “treat” for myself to do the things I want done.

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There’s 104 Days of Summer Vacation…

…’til school comes along just to end it! Or so Phineas and Ferb have taught us. If you ask my daughter summer was too short. If you ask me, it was too long. I suppose the real answer is somewhere in the middle. This summer was a test of patience for both myself and my daughter. She was home with me full-time while I also worked full-time. Oh, and we went on vacations and got two new puppies. To say my schedule and routine were thrown out of whack would be an understatement. As such, I thought I would share with you my top ten learnings from this summer:

Mackenzie needs a schedule. She did very well having academic things she had to do throughout the day which earned her time on electronics. This also helped her complete one book report per week off a fourth-grade reading list.
Mackenzie will sleep until 9:30 regularly if she is allowed. She is my sleeping spirit animal.
The ipad is the only negotiating leverage I have. She isn’t motivated by food or money. Only the ipad.
Despite the fact Mack did all her academic work over the summer, there is no way to convince her this was actually good for her.
Sleepovers are awesome (in her opinion). And they happen a LOT.
Having ingredients for slime on-hand and having a pinball machine make your house very popular. Adding two puppies doesn’t hurt either.
Girls actually travel in packs. As long as all our neighbors have chicken nuggets and popcorn, all the girls will survive.
Having a kid home all day does not ensure you will have assistance with new puppies.
I receive a LOT more requests for random Amazon purchases when Mack is home.
My house is MUCH cleaner with Mack home. This is because she has to clean things to earn ipad time. See #3 for the power of the ipad.

Despite the disruption to my schedule, and the occasional disagreement, I am glad Mack got to have a summer where she could sleep in and live her best life. I still managed to accomplish most of what I wanted each day and she got to really enjoy herself. Sometimes that makes the disruptions ok. That said, I’m SUPER excited for school to begin tomorrow. 🙂

Someone’s Got a Case of the Mondays

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It’s easy to dread Mondays. We go back to work, school, responsibilities, and are generally displeased with the day. Normally I can get over that, but today was a different Monday. Sure, it started off well enough with Mack going to camp, me working out, and talking to my friend on the phone. Next, I dropped my car off for an oil change. It turned out that I was 400 miles away from my warranty so we threw in some additional things to be done. I was prepared to work from the dealership, but with the additional items thrown in I had them shuttle me home. Cue my garage pad NOT working. I tried a dozen times and the batteries were definitely dead. This.is.my.Monday.

Since I had my laptop, laptop charger, phone, and phone charger, I simply hunkered down on my deck and commenced to work from there. My cat was inside looking out in the most confused manner as if to say, “why are you choosing the outdoors when you could have me?” I finished some work, ran two miles, then the shuttle guy came to get me and pick up my car. For the coworkers who didn’t know of my earlier plight, it was as if nothing had happened.

Even when you think you are having a bad day, just know two things: 1. it could be worse and 2. it will get better. That said, the BEST piece of advice is that preparedness will always triumph inconvenience.

Happy birthday America!

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Holidays are a very easy time for all of us to say to ourselves, “eh, it’s a holiday. I’ll let myself enjoy the day.” There is nothing wrong with that at all, but I think a lot of us are left feeling kind of full, kind of lethargic, and sometimes wishing we had accomplished more. I think that is especially the case if the holiday falls in the middle of a work week and we don’t have subsequent days off. We go back to work and realize we didn’t get any laundry finished, the house is in disarray, and we are just as tired as if we hadn’t gotten to sleep in.

As this is often the case, I have taken to starting every holiday waking up at a decent hour and doing all the productive things I want to accomplish immediately. Yesterday was the fourth of July and my day went like this: 1. woke up, 2. completed two online workouts (half-hour each), 3. helped my husband dig a hole I wasn’t planning on digging, 4. ran 3.13 miles, 5. started a batch of green beans for a party later in the day, and 6. showered (this was VERY necessary). Only AFTER these six things did I allow myself time to just sit on the couch. Keep in mind, it was only 1:30 p.m. at this time, so I had been highly productive and still had HOURS of lounging time available. We went next door at around 3:45 and hung out around the pool for about three hours. Then, we went home, changed, went to dinner, and had a nice, relaxing evening.

We managed to have not only a productive day, but a relaxing one. My husband has the day off today, but I do not and I am glad that I got so much accomplished yesterday. Today has been one of my most productive work days in a while, I have managed to workout, and I don’t regret any of how we spent yesterday.

When you have a holiday coming up, remember that how you start your day is indicative of how you will end it. Start productive, and you’ll feel productive.

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Living Our Best Summer Lives

Early in my parenting career I thought Mack would really enjoy summer camps. Something to do all day, new people to meet, etc. For the past couple of summers we have signed her up for a camp every week of her summer to ensure she has activities (and also because I work from home and she wasn’t really capable of leaving me alone to do actual work). This summer, we were out of camps (she had done them all previously) so she is home with me. Three days a week I take her to summer swimming in the morning, which means we get up half an hour earlier than we did during the school year…this is not pleasant for either of us. That said, it does wake her up and get her going, and gets her exercise out of the way. It also disrupts when I do my workouts, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Now that we are a month into the summer I can honestly say she is living her best summer life. She has had numerous sleepover nights with friends (sometimes multiple days in a row), been to the largest bounce house in the world, has white-water rafting planned for this weekend, and is generally now known as the kid who is home during the day so she has friends coming over constantly. I love that for her, and she is really enjoying her new status in life. Also, on days without swimming she is loving sleeping in with no responsibility (other than her worksheets, cursive, and reading chores that I assign).

For me, this has been a learning curve of how to adjust my working out and errands while working a full day as well. I am moving things around but the key is that I am still doing them. It’s almost the opposite of my teacher friends who have all this new time over the summer because I am now working under considerable constraints in my day. I have had friends tell me, “Oh now you see what it’s like to be a stay-at-home mom” and honestly I have no response to that. This is entirely different. I’m working full-time at a job that requires me to be on a phone and webcam for most of the day AND balancing Mack being home. I assign her homework, exercises, and also manage her social calendar. It’s a lot to fit in, but it is actually working ok. She is old enough to understand what needs to happen and that there are negative consequences to ignoring chores or responsibilities. I will say that if you have the option to stay home fully OR work fully, pick one or the other. The two are a lot to take on at the same time.

Whenever you feel overworked, overtasked, and downright tired, just know you can do it. We all find time for ourselves even if it is hiding in the bathroom for a few moments. Find your half hour for yourself. Workout, go on a walk, leave the family behind. I assure you everyone will survive half an hour without you and you’ll be better for it.

Reward Systems are Your Friends

I had an extremely productive weekend. I worked out, ran, made some pottery, recovered six dining room chair pads, and bought two new televisions. Now, my husband and daughter helped with the TVs, but otherwise it was all about figuring out how to do all of that and still hang out with my family. The answer: rewards. Our children respond well to rewards. You know, “go poopy in the potty and I will give you a jumbo marshmallow” (yes, I am drawing upon experience here). Well, it turns out adults respond well to rewards also. Have you ever tried it? “If I have this healthy food then I can have that fatty food later”. Or maybe even, “if I skip the carbs at dinner I can have a glass of wine later.” Either way, you can see that rewards probably play a role in adult lives more than you think.

Have you ever tried this with more than food? What about life? I JUST sat down for the evening and before I allowed myself to do this I made myself scotchguard my last two chairs (I ran out yesterday and had to purchase more at the store today). I could have put off doing it, but I needed to put the scotchguard away anyway, so why not take the five minutes to do it, let the chairs dry, and reward myself by watching my current favorite show while I wait for the chairs to dry? In fact, I am fairly certain it took LESS than five minutes, but in my head it was going to take MUCH longer.

Rewards can make your day go from low-medium productivity to medium-high without stealing your time. And we all respond well to productivity, so why not create easy ways for you to achieve it?

Also, if you feel you need a jumbo marshmallow for more than just pooping on the potty, I say go for it…

From Iceland to Summer in one Fell Swoop

It has been a while since I made time to blog and that is because May is the month of the devil. Those with even just one kid know that May is the time when all school projects, plays, performances, conference, and ceremonies occur. It is a time of havoc, chaos, celebration, and exhaustion. Somehow we are supposed to progress our children to the next grade of school, maintain our jobs and lives, while also maintaining some semblance of sanity. Oh, throw in there a trip to Iceland with 16 other people and you have a recipe for success.

Now that I have returned, I can honestly tell you Iceland is gorgeous. The city of Reykjavik is just another major city…super touristy, lots of English, and stellar music choices everywhere you turn. But, once you venture out of the city, the landscape becomes this beautiful thing that you can only behold there. Terrains that look like other planets; volcanoes, glaciers, waterfalls, and the opportunity to get lost in the tranquility of it all. The hiking was amazing, the sights breathtaking, and the experience once-in-a-lifetime.

Reality has set in, however, and this summer my daughter is home with me all day. When I say all day, I mean ALL DAY. She is nine, so she is somewhat self-sufficient, but the schedule of the day has DEFINITELY changed. We now have swimming three mornings a week, which jacks up my workout routine (and our ability to sleep in). We are now getting up half an hour EARLIER than a normal school day, so you can imagine how well that is going over. So now we get up, I take her to swimming before I work, we get home, I make breakfast and start work. Then I workout at lunch and get my run in after work. On the days we do not have swimming at the crack of dawn, I actually get my normal workout in at the start of the day and can run at lunch. I can tell you, this is a big change to my routine. It’s also a change having someone in the house continuously – I am used to pacing and zero noise in the background. Now I hear a piano, games, laughter, and the occasional phrase like, “stop fooling around and help me kill this person” when my daughter is playing Roblox online with her BFF.

My daughter’s schedule has changed dramatically as well. Not only have I had to adjust what I do, but I am coordinating her entire day so that she doesn’t turn into a slovenly beast. She is required to do one book report a week (which entails reading a book she’s never read previously), four workbook pages a day (from all possible subjects), she is writing letters to relatives, and when she doesn’t swim she is required to go outside and ride her bike or play in the sprinkler so she doesn’t forget what the outdoors look like. Additionally she has her normal chores of keeping her rooms clean and putting away laundry. If she does these activities well (and without complaint), then she earns time on her electronics. If not, then she loses the privilege. Needless to say, this has been a nice change but one that was not without growing pains. Also, coordinating all of that while maintaining my full-time job have been a good exercise in patience…for all those concerned.

I tell you all this because it is apparently possible to do all of this without losing your sanity. I utilize the mute button a lot, and have taught my daughter a series of hand signals as ways of interrupting me when she needs something, but otherwise we haven’t killed each other and she hasn’t turned into a lazy summer kid yet. We are only a week in though…so it is still early. 🙂

Coins and exercise are a girl’s best friend

When Mack was about five she received a garmin jr. from a friend in TX. Since my husband and I both use garmin devices, it worked well to sync her up with us and have step competitions (especially when we go to Disney), and it was also informative to monitor her sleep. The REALLY beneficial thing about it though, is the virtual coins. Within the app we program chores and things she has to accomplish around the house or throughout her day. Things like laundry, brushing her teeth, unpacking her backpack, etc. Each responsibility has an associated amount of coins that she earns which then go towards a reward. These rewards vary from screen time, choosing her own dinner, staying up half an hour later, etc. I cannot tell you how much of a game changer this has been and can not recommend this enough.

Mack was never a chart kind of kid. Stars on a chart did not provide her with any enjoyment, nor did they really feel like she was reaching a goal. The coins allow her to have independence on how she uses them. She can turn some in for short-term satisfaction or she can save them up for something big. Additionally, when she is short coins and wants to use her iPad, she has the knowledge of what she needs to accomplish to earn the coins necessary for that and will embark upon chores unprompted.

This comes in EXTREMELY handy on snow days. Normal days when she is home from school we have a schedule, but snow days are those days that hit you without warning (usually) and you might not have a full day planned out. Since I work from home, I need her to understand what she has the ability to do, but without me having to tell her constantly.

The other thing she can do to earn iPad time is exercise. This is outside the realm of coins, so it bears mentioning. For half an hour of iPad time she is required to do ten full pushups (not on her knees), 20 full sit-ups, and either ten full pull-ups on the pull-up bar or 30 jumping jacks. She is a swimmer and sees me working out all the time, but this helps instill a sense of accomplishment and reward with exercising.

The great thing about all of this is that since she isn’t allowed to watch television or be on an electronic for most of the day, she has time to do real things…educational things, crafty things. It is currently 11:17 in the morning and she has already made four different jewelry items, practiced piano for her recital today, and written a story about the Underground Railroad.

I guess the point is, instilling a sense of purpose and accomplishment to earn the activities your kid wants to do is not a bad thing. I know it takes a bit of setup and work to establish the pattern, but I can tell you that it is worth it. There are no arguments. There are not moments of crying. If she doesn’t have coins and doesn’t want to exercise, then she has nothing to bargain with and has to find other things to do. With that, I will leave you with a picture of her in the yoga swing in our basement. Yoga swing companies: she is available to hire.

Use your time…and get massages!

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Here I am with a blog that discusses how to fit everything in, and yet I haven’t fit in writing in a while. Sometimes you need inspiration and sometimes you have to make yourself slow down. For me it is a bit of both that has kept me away. I caught a virus before Easter that even prevented me from working out one day (which never happens) and then we went on an Easter camping weekend rather spur of the moment. You will all be glad to know the Easter bunny visits campers in state park camping facilities.

This weekend has been chock full of things that make me happy. I was able to bake a braided bread and macarons, Mack got to spend the whole weekend with her best friend, Josh got to forge, and all while binge watching “The Great British Baking Show”. Oh, and doing all the laundry, working out, and running. Oh, and finishing the last crocheted alpaca that I owe my work wife.

Everyone is probably saying, “that is a long list, and doesn’t include everything. Where do you find the time?” Honestly, the answer is I don’t sit for long. If I am sitting, I am doing something (like crocheting an alpaca). Weekends are for us to get stuff done, enjoy each other, and feel like we are headed into the week ready to go. Having stuff for our kids does prevent that (birthday parties, scouts meetings, obligations galore), but what do you do when at those parties and obligations? Are you socializing with other parents? Are you running errands? I typically bring at least one book or one craft for me to do while I wait for Mack to finish. Today we have to go to one of those trampoline places with Girl Scouts. Now, I typically like to jump with the kids, but if I am not allowed then I will be reading my book club book. This will make me feel like my time was well-spent. I try NOT to drop her off because I feel like driving back and forth is a waste. I would rather take her, do something worth my time, and then leave. It doesn’t help these activities are typically not near our house, so for me to do anything else would be a stressful rush.

This morning I got my monthly massage and I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to take self-care seriously. I saw a different massage therapist today and he pointed out a lot of places that were tight that my normal therapist doesn’t. I think it is because I have done a different workout program for the last three weeks, but it was a nice change of pace. It did mean I had to do grocery shopping later in the morning today, but it was totally worth it. Scheduling a massage one month out makes me go. If I receive random gift cards for massages, I have a hard time scheduling them because weekends fill up quickly. Schedule them one month ahead and you can schedule AROUND your massage. And you will be happy and your family will love you for being more relaxed!

Fitting it all in means using your time. Don’t sit for half an hour and wonder where the time went. Do something with your time. Schedule massages a month out and take care of yourself. Your body and mind will thank you for both of these things.

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Gimme a break, I sure deserve it…

Do you ever get that feeling in your throat? That feeling that says, “You’re getting sick. Now is your chance to do something about it if you want to.” You take vitamin C and push through because you have laundry, shopping, and lots of stuff to do. Then, Saturday night you say, “well, it’s all downhill from here” and wake up Sunday knowing you will not make it if you sit down so you don’t sit down. I managed to make Swedish meatballs for the week, cookies, prepping our camper for Easter weekend, and get everything prepped for the week laundry-wise before I sat down to watch the momentous win by Tiger. I did short, 30-minute workouts both days to make sure I got those in, but my move goals were definitely lackluster. I already gave myself a break on April, so I don’t feel terribly bad about it, and that brings me to my topic. Giving yourself a break.

My title to this post is stolen from the theme song to the show from the 80s that starred Nell Carter. I loved that show, and LOVED that theme song. It was such a powerful message that sometimes you earn a break and shouldn’t feel guilty taking one, yet at the same time taking total charge of the situation. I have a hard time with taking breaks…I feel like sitting on the couch for longer than an hour on a weekend is just downright unproductive. If you put me hiking in nature for that hour, I don’t feel it is unproductive, but sitting around just makes me fidgety. Even my daughter gets in on it and says to me, “Mommy, I feel like you could be crocheting an alpaca while you sit there” and then I feel guilty that I’m not. Then I remember this song, “Gimme a break I sure deserve it, it’s time I made it to the top. Gimme a break I’m looking forward, get behind me pull out every stop.”

I think the other thing is once you establish a pattern, people expect it and then you hear about it when you are taking a break. Don’t fall into that trap! Take your breaks. Get your massages. You earn them, and you need them. My body felt so much more rested this morning after lounging around all afternoon yesterday and getting a good night’s rest.

With that, I’m going to work a full day and go to bed early. I hope you are all finding time to give your bodies a break and take some time to be with yourselves. Sometimes fitting it all in means making sure you only take care of essentials. Almost everything can wait a day if it needs to.