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We eat what we eat, repeat, repeat.

I’m not a doctor. I don’t purport to have a lot of knowledge as it pertains to the medical field, I’m not a nutritionist…I have degrees in psychology, but not the kind that pertain to food or physical health. All that said, I do have a fair bit of observational skills and something I have always known about myself is something I’m now seeing in others during this Great Sequestering of COVID-19. The observation I have made is that whatever we eat at the beginning of the day will determine what we eat for the rest of the day. If we start with water, we’ll drink a lot more water. If we start with coffee, we’ll drink more coffee. This seems logical with beverages since we get a taste for whatever that first drink is, but the food piece is where it gets interesting.

What if you start your day with a donut? Am I saying you’ll eat more donuts during the day? Well, I suppose you could but it’s more about the likelihood that you’ll now eat more sugar – or more sweets. What if you start your day with green beans (don’t judge me, I can eat green beans at any time of day)? Well, I have experienced more likelihood to eat more veggies – or at least avoid sugary treats.

While I know this about myself and try to start my day according to my goal for the day (related to food), it has been fascinating to see it in my daughter and husband. As such, I’m generalizing to the entire population – because that’s how the best advice happens right? 🙂 If you are someone who is looking to make a change in your eating habits (or your health in general), I think a really easy, small change is to start your day how you want to end it. If you want to end your day healthily, start it that way. Don’t start with the donut; start with a spinach and egg omelet. If you think you drink too much coffee, start with WATER in the morning. I know a lot of you are trying to come out of COVID fitter than you started, but fitness is also made in the kitchen. Small changes in how you start your day can have long-term effects on how you end your day – and your long-term goals.

Your routine is their routine

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It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog because while I have many topics, I find there to be a myriad of things that I do instead or blogs that already exist on the topic. That said, I find this to be an interesting time in our lives (and history) and thought I would offer some perspective. We are in the midst of a Coronavirus pandemic. Apparently coronaviruses have existed previously, but this particular strain has taken off with a vengeance. As such, we find ourselves home, socially-distancing, quarantined, etc. with no known target for a return to “normalcy”.

I work from home and during the summer I have Mack home with me during the day. When I say I work from home, I don’t mean the stereotype the internet portrays where I “work” and then do chores or goof off. I am on the phone almost all day, hosting presentations, and other than lunch pretty much in my office permanently. When Mack first started staying home with me for long periods of time it was an adjustment. She is used to being able to ask me questions whenever she wants, request assistance at all times, etc. It was a lot for her to learn that she needs to knock to come into my office or adhere to a schedule.

Mack was already used to not being allowed to interrupt while I’m working out or making pottery. Sure she can visit and chat with me, but she isn’t allowed to ask me to do something that would make me stop what I’m doing. It is the same with her summer schedule, and now her “quarantine” schedule. You see, when you follow a routine your kids will WITNESS that routine. They will adjust and adapt because kids are wholly more flexible than adults. If you are consistent in the way you structure your day, their day, etc., they will pick up on it after awhile. Is it immediate? Absolutely not. Does it eventually kick in? Yes. The consistency comes in all forms though – consistency of the schedule, consistency of your reward/punishment system, etc. If you allow electronics for someone one day and deny it the next day, then you have gone against the very foundation you are trying to lay.

I guess my point is that none of this is perfect. We aren’t all teachers. We aren’t all patient. Some of us might try to kill our spouses/loved ones (or at least wish it upon them) when this is hitting the peak. We can make it easier on ourselves. Set boundaries, set expectations, and then follow-through on them. We’ll all make it out alive, we’ll all hopefully be healthy, and we might even learn something about ourselves.

When Life Gets in the Way

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It has been a VERY long time since I wrote a blog. I wish I had a good excuse, but in reality I simply allowed my life to go on as it was instead of making time to share it. In the last few months we have had one family member be hospitalized to remove a brain tumor the size of a baseball, another family member entering a second round of chemo, and two coworkers/friends where one had a quintuple bypass and another started chemo. None of that was Josh, myself, or Mack (thankfully), but it affected all of us in different ways. Care packages, videos, pictures, and messages were sent.

On top of that, we gained two new family members in August – Fork and Spoon (collectively referred to as the Utensils) and they have been quite a handful. A joy, but a handful. Oh, and we started a new garage being built (due to be finished in a week or so).

To say things have been hectic would be an understatement, but here are the things we DID accomplish: school has been a success, I will finish a 100-day workout program tomorrow, and Josh has had (and continues to have) work travel. We’ve not forgotten any birthdays and are getting ready for Christmas.

When I tell people all we’ve had going on, it sounds like a lot. I feel like I have a lot going on normally, but making lists of things accomplished every week has been longer than usual. For that I am grateful we haven’t been sick or injured in any way. That said…winter is coming.

I will say the way I have gotten through all of this is making lists of things I have to accomplish each day. Not things I WANT to accomplish, things I HAVE to accomplish. This has been helpful because then if I check everything off the list I can start on things I WANT to do. This probably sounds simple, but think about all those to-do lists you make and look at them. Really look at them. How many are things you WANT to do vs. NEED to do? If you are anything like me, making lists longer during busy times doesn’t actually help me. I need my lists to represent the things that are essential and then if I have additional time I use that time as a “treat” for myself to do the things I want done.

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There’s 104 Days of Summer Vacation…

…’til school comes along just to end it! Or so Phineas and Ferb have taught us. If you ask my daughter summer was too short. If you ask me, it was too long. I suppose the real answer is somewhere in the middle. This summer was a test of patience for both myself and my daughter. She was home with me full-time while I also worked full-time. Oh, and we went on vacations and got two new puppies. To say my schedule and routine were thrown out of whack would be an understatement. As such, I thought I would share with you my top ten learnings from this summer:

Mackenzie needs a schedule. She did very well having academic things she had to do throughout the day which earned her time on electronics. This also helped her complete one book report per week off a fourth-grade reading list.
Mackenzie will sleep until 9:30 regularly if she is allowed. She is my sleeping spirit animal.
The ipad is the only negotiating leverage I have. She isn’t motivated by food or money. Only the ipad.
Despite the fact Mack did all her academic work over the summer, there is no way to convince her this was actually good for her.
Sleepovers are awesome (in her opinion). And they happen a LOT.
Having ingredients for slime on-hand and having a pinball machine make your house very popular. Adding two puppies doesn’t hurt either.
Girls actually travel in packs. As long as all our neighbors have chicken nuggets and popcorn, all the girls will survive.
Having a kid home all day does not ensure you will have assistance with new puppies.
I receive a LOT more requests for random Amazon purchases when Mack is home.
My house is MUCH cleaner with Mack home. This is because she has to clean things to earn ipad time. See #3 for the power of the ipad.

Despite the disruption to my schedule, and the occasional disagreement, I am glad Mack got to have a summer where she could sleep in and live her best life. I still managed to accomplish most of what I wanted each day and she got to really enjoy herself. Sometimes that makes the disruptions ok. That said, I’m SUPER excited for school to begin tomorrow. 🙂

Someone’s Got a Case of the Mondays

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It’s easy to dread Mondays. We go back to work, school, responsibilities, and are generally displeased with the day. Normally I can get over that, but today was a different Monday. Sure, it started off well enough with Mack going to camp, me working out, and talking to my friend on the phone. Next, I dropped my car off for an oil change. It turned out that I was 400 miles away from my warranty so we threw in some additional things to be done. I was prepared to work from the dealership, but with the additional items thrown in I had them shuttle me home. Cue my garage pad NOT working. I tried a dozen times and the batteries were definitely dead. This.is.my.Monday.

Since I had my laptop, laptop charger, phone, and phone charger, I simply hunkered down on my deck and commenced to work from there. My cat was inside looking out in the most confused manner as if to say, “why are you choosing the outdoors when you could have me?” I finished some work, ran two miles, then the shuttle guy came to get me and pick up my car. For the coworkers who didn’t know of my earlier plight, it was as if nothing had happened.

Even when you think you are having a bad day, just know two things: 1. it could be worse and 2. it will get better. That said, the BEST piece of advice is that preparedness will always triumph inconvenience.

Happy birthday America!

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Holidays are a very easy time for all of us to say to ourselves, “eh, it’s a holiday. I’ll let myself enjoy the day.” There is nothing wrong with that at all, but I think a lot of us are left feeling kind of full, kind of lethargic, and sometimes wishing we had accomplished more. I think that is especially the case if the holiday falls in the middle of a work week and we don’t have subsequent days off. We go back to work and realize we didn’t get any laundry finished, the house is in disarray, and we are just as tired as if we hadn’t gotten to sleep in.

As this is often the case, I have taken to starting every holiday waking up at a decent hour and doing all the productive things I want to accomplish immediately. Yesterday was the fourth of July and my day went like this: 1. woke up, 2. completed two online workouts (half-hour each), 3. helped my husband dig a hole I wasn’t planning on digging, 4. ran 3.13 miles, 5. started a batch of green beans for a party later in the day, and 6. showered (this was VERY necessary). Only AFTER these six things did I allow myself time to just sit on the couch. Keep in mind, it was only 1:30 p.m. at this time, so I had been highly productive and still had HOURS of lounging time available. We went next door at around 3:45 and hung out around the pool for about three hours. Then, we went home, changed, went to dinner, and had a nice, relaxing evening.

We managed to have not only a productive day, but a relaxing one. My husband has the day off today, but I do not and I am glad that I got so much accomplished yesterday. Today has been one of my most productive work days in a while, I have managed to workout, and I don’t regret any of how we spent yesterday.

When you have a holiday coming up, remember that how you start your day is indicative of how you will end it. Start productive, and you’ll feel productive.

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Living Our Best Summer Lives

Early in my parenting career I thought Mack would really enjoy summer camps. Something to do all day, new people to meet, etc. For the past couple of summers we have signed her up for a camp every week of her summer to ensure she has activities (and also because I work from home and she wasn’t really capable of leaving me alone to do actual work). This summer, we were out of camps (she had done them all previously) so she is home with me. Three days a week I take her to summer swimming in the morning, which means we get up half an hour earlier than we did during the school year…this is not pleasant for either of us. That said, it does wake her up and get her going, and gets her exercise out of the way. It also disrupts when I do my workouts, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Now that we are a month into the summer I can honestly say she is living her best summer life. She has had numerous sleepover nights with friends (sometimes multiple days in a row), been to the largest bounce house in the world, has white-water rafting planned for this weekend, and is generally now known as the kid who is home during the day so she has friends coming over constantly. I love that for her, and she is really enjoying her new status in life. Also, on days without swimming she is loving sleeping in with no responsibility (other than her worksheets, cursive, and reading chores that I assign).

For me, this has been a learning curve of how to adjust my working out and errands while working a full day as well. I am moving things around but the key is that I am still doing them. It’s almost the opposite of my teacher friends who have all this new time over the summer because I am now working under considerable constraints in my day. I have had friends tell me, “Oh now you see what it’s like to be a stay-at-home mom” and honestly I have no response to that. This is entirely different. I’m working full-time at a job that requires me to be on a phone and webcam for most of the day AND balancing Mack being home. I assign her homework, exercises, and also manage her social calendar. It’s a lot to fit in, but it is actually working ok. She is old enough to understand what needs to happen and that there are negative consequences to ignoring chores or responsibilities. I will say that if you have the option to stay home fully OR work fully, pick one or the other. The two are a lot to take on at the same time.

Whenever you feel overworked, overtasked, and downright tired, just know you can do it. We all find time for ourselves even if it is hiding in the bathroom for a few moments. Find your half hour for yourself. Workout, go on a walk, leave the family behind. I assure you everyone will survive half an hour without you and you’ll be better for it.

Use your time…and get massages!

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Here I am with a blog that discusses how to fit everything in, and yet I haven’t fit in writing in a while. Sometimes you need inspiration and sometimes you have to make yourself slow down. For me it is a bit of both that has kept me away. I caught a virus before Easter that even prevented me from working out one day (which never happens) and then we went on an Easter camping weekend rather spur of the moment. You will all be glad to know the Easter bunny visits campers in state park camping facilities.

This weekend has been chock full of things that make me happy. I was able to bake a braided bread and macarons, Mack got to spend the whole weekend with her best friend, Josh got to forge, and all while binge watching “The Great British Baking Show”. Oh, and doing all the laundry, working out, and running. Oh, and finishing the last crocheted alpaca that I owe my work wife.

Everyone is probably saying, “that is a long list, and doesn’t include everything. Where do you find the time?” Honestly, the answer is I don’t sit for long. If I am sitting, I am doing something (like crocheting an alpaca). Weekends are for us to get stuff done, enjoy each other, and feel like we are headed into the week ready to go. Having stuff for our kids does prevent that (birthday parties, scouts meetings, obligations galore), but what do you do when at those parties and obligations? Are you socializing with other parents? Are you running errands? I typically bring at least one book or one craft for me to do while I wait for Mack to finish. Today we have to go to one of those trampoline places with Girl Scouts. Now, I typically like to jump with the kids, but if I am not allowed then I will be reading my book club book. This will make me feel like my time was well-spent. I try NOT to drop her off because I feel like driving back and forth is a waste. I would rather take her, do something worth my time, and then leave. It doesn’t help these activities are typically not near our house, so for me to do anything else would be a stressful rush.

This morning I got my monthly massage and I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to take self-care seriously. I saw a different massage therapist today and he pointed out a lot of places that were tight that my normal therapist doesn’t. I think it is because I have done a different workout program for the last three weeks, but it was a nice change of pace. It did mean I had to do grocery shopping later in the morning today, but it was totally worth it. Scheduling a massage one month out makes me go. If I receive random gift cards for massages, I have a hard time scheduling them because weekends fill up quickly. Schedule them one month ahead and you can schedule AROUND your massage. And you will be happy and your family will love you for being more relaxed!

Fitting it all in means using your time. Don’t sit for half an hour and wonder where the time went. Do something with your time. Schedule massages a month out and take care of yourself. Your body and mind will thank you for both of these things.

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Gimme a break, I sure deserve it…

Do you ever get that feeling in your throat? That feeling that says, “You’re getting sick. Now is your chance to do something about it if you want to.” You take vitamin C and push through because you have laundry, shopping, and lots of stuff to do. Then, Saturday night you say, “well, it’s all downhill from here” and wake up Sunday knowing you will not make it if you sit down so you don’t sit down. I managed to make Swedish meatballs for the week, cookies, prepping our camper for Easter weekend, and get everything prepped for the week laundry-wise before I sat down to watch the momentous win by Tiger. I did short, 30-minute workouts both days to make sure I got those in, but my move goals were definitely lackluster. I already gave myself a break on April, so I don’t feel terribly bad about it, and that brings me to my topic. Giving yourself a break.

My title to this post is stolen from the theme song to the show from the 80s that starred Nell Carter. I loved that show, and LOVED that theme song. It was such a powerful message that sometimes you earn a break and shouldn’t feel guilty taking one, yet at the same time taking total charge of the situation. I have a hard time with taking breaks…I feel like sitting on the couch for longer than an hour on a weekend is just downright unproductive. If you put me hiking in nature for that hour, I don’t feel it is unproductive, but sitting around just makes me fidgety. Even my daughter gets in on it and says to me, “Mommy, I feel like you could be crocheting an alpaca while you sit there” and then I feel guilty that I’m not. Then I remember this song, “Gimme a break I sure deserve it, it’s time I made it to the top. Gimme a break I’m looking forward, get behind me pull out every stop.”

I think the other thing is once you establish a pattern, people expect it and then you hear about it when you are taking a break. Don’t fall into that trap! Take your breaks. Get your massages. You earn them, and you need them. My body felt so much more rested this morning after lounging around all afternoon yesterday and getting a good night’s rest.

With that, I’m going to work a full day and go to bed early. I hope you are all finding time to give your bodies a break and take some time to be with yourselves. Sometimes fitting it all in means making sure you only take care of essentials. Almost everything can wait a day if it needs to.

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The Magic Ends at 3 a.m.

Well, the vacation is over. I know it is over because we got up at 3 this morning and I am now sitting in the Orlando airport waiting for our flight at 7. Somehow we will manage to land at 9, but none of us are going to school or work. We spent the last 6 days at Disney and we are all tuckered out. In 5.5 days I alone walked over 145,000 steps. I worked out in the hotel gym, ran a 5k, and we went to every Disney park minus Blizzard Beach. Honestly, I wouldn’t have needed a workout at all if I just rode Splash Mountain over and over again. Once you feel yourself sitting in a pool of water, you learn to use your hamstrings, quads, and glutes to hold yourself above the seat entirely so you don’t just fester in weird, stale water. It is a testament to my actual workouts that I was even able to do it.

All that said, it was a great vacation. All three of us used electronics very sparingly – my husband is in charge of fast passes and I only took 65 pictures. My daughter was only allowed her iPad to listen to Audible at night to put her to sleep. It was wonderful! Now I am able to sit here at the airport and think about all the things we were able to fit in. No time was wasted, and all of it was earned. I hope the next time you go on vacation you wear pockets with a zipper so you can just zip your phone up and enjoy the moments because I can tell you it was a totally different kind of trip without one of us needing to document it all or checking work emails.

Now we get on a plane to go back to cold weather, pick up our presumably angry cat, and do mounds of laundry before we get back to the grind tomorrow. I hope everyone else had a wonderful spring break wherever you are!

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Preparing for WWIII…otherwise known as VACATION.

I will start this post acknowledging I only have one child. I have been told adding a second equates to exponential differences and any additional children equate to minimal, incremental change. It’s that leap from one to two that is the big leap. That said, there is a special time when a family is preparing for vacation that begs for attention. The time when lists are made, spreadsheets are printed, bags are allocated, food is consumed, and the house is readied. Featured today: Spring Break.

When preparing for any family vacation, I rely on good ol’ Microsoft Excel. ME’s ability to allow me multiple columns and rows combined with color coding really does take my packing to an 11. I have used ME to prepare for vacations LONG before I had a family, so it made sense for me to indoctrinate my husband and child to this early-on. In the world of packing lists, there is nothing better than doing a total brain purge of everything you think you’ll need, having a column for who needs it, a column for how many, a column for which bag in which it will live, and printing enough copies for everyone to have one. After the brain purge, I sort alphabetically and send my family members on their way. Key things to note: I do not acquire any of the required items on behalf of my family (with a few key exceptions – namely passports or Disney magic bands). Mack is required to obtain her required underwear, socks, shirts, shorts, etc. Same goes for Josh. This is responsibility, and if someone forgets to pack something that is on them.

Once these required items have been obtained, each member brings them to our bedroom and I do the packing. This is for efficiency and so I can do any mental checks if there is something very blatant missing (re: in case they forget underwear).

On top of packing, there is the conundrum of clearing out food from the house. This time around I have planned it all so well we will have zero food expiring, rotting, wasting our money, etc. and I even have all the dishes washed! That said, we are going out to eat tonight to keep up this momentum, but no one has argued that fact (since they normally have to eat healthier when I cook).

There is another food situation not everyone discusses though, and that is food of a picky child. I am sure you all have children who eat what you want them to eat without complaint, and that is super awesome and enviable. My child, however, is not one of those. She’s not horrible…she’ll eat almost any fruit, drinks V8, and doesn’t crave sweets. BUT, she really just wants chicken nuggets/fingers, pbj, cheese pizza, or spaghetti – normal spaghetti. NO FUN SHAPES ALLOWED. This also means no mac and cheese to those of you thinking that is an easy option. So, to go on vacation means you pack lots of food as well. I have fruit cups, applesauce packages, homemade protein bars that actually contain almonds, cashews, chia seeds, flaxseed, and egg white protein (but are all blended so she just thinks it’s chocolate with rice krispies).

Beyond that, Josh has a spreadsheet created of all our fast passes, restaurant reservations, and general pace of each day, so he is in charge of all activities. Which is nice, since this is a vacation and I don’t need to be the only planner. Disney is his jam so he gets to be in charge of that greatness. I made sure I know where the gym is and when I can workout, so I’m all set.

If you have a big family, or you find packing a chore, I can’t recommend a good spreadsheet enough. It seems really simple, and maybe even a bit archaic, but it is SO DAMN EASY to check something off a printed list that is color coded rather than try to remember in the moment what you took last time or whether you need to bother with bug spray…

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You play basketball at what time?

One of the most common questions I get is “when do you work out?”. I feel like I’ve answered this a lot, but maybe it bears mentioning as its own entry on the blog. The answer is before work and at lunch. My company is based in Central time so I have the luxury of getting up with Mack and working a bit while she eats breakfast. Then, I get her on the bus and do my Beachbody workout for the day. For those of you curious about Beachbody workouts, or whether they would work for you, leave me a comment and I’ll talk to you about it. I don’t have a gym membership, and do everything at (or near) home. That means, after Mack is on the bus I do 30-45 minutes of a workout, wear my workout clothes all day, run 3-5 miles at lunch, and then shower sometime in the early evening (or at lunch if I have time).

I must make it clear that I am not opposed to a gym membership. I’m just VERY lazy. You might not think that since I have a blog about making time for things, but I really can’t be bothered to leave my house to travel round-trip as long as it would take me to workout. All that said, when I worked in Dallas I did have a gym membership. The gym was a legit five minutes from the office and had a shower. It was a Planet Fitness which fit my budget, allowed me to run at lunch, and made it to where I wasn’t taking away from family time by working out. Now that I live in Ohio and the nearest gym is 20 minutes away, I just rely on my basement. I have plenty of weights (though there are so many workouts without weights that doesn’t really matter), and plenty of space. So, no gym for me, but I do it every morning – including weekends. Running at lunch is necessary because if I don’t walk away from my computer then I lose my mind and get cranky. Anyone who has interacted with me cranky understands this and appreciates that I take the time to run it off. I block the time on my calendar and get it done.

My husband takes a very different approach to working out and, frankly, it’s admirable. He is on a volleyball team AND a basketball team. Volleyball is Sunday night; basketball is Monday night. This morning he met to play basketball at 6 a.m. He ARRIVED to play at 6 a.m. That is incredible to me. That is a hard NO for me. I get up only: 1. to get Mack ready for school, 2. to travel, or 3. because there is an emergency. I will NOT get up early to workout unless I REALLY have to. When I travel I will get up early occasionally but it’s only because I know it won’t be normal and I can rationalize it. BUT, I find a way to work it in because maintenance is a better place to be than starting over. You don’t have to start over if you never stop, so my goal is not to stop. I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it – fit it in. Half an hour isn’t outrageous and in this world of available workout programs, you can find a half hour that challenges you without leaving your house.

Unless you are my husband and then you get up with a bit of crazy in your head and workout before the rest of the world has woken up.

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Weekends are weird

Weekends are the time of the week where we’re super excited not to have work, but we have to choose between two formats: 1. a productive weekend or, 2. a relaxing weekend. It’s rare people say they had a “productive, yet relaxing weekend”. Josh and I have very eclectic hobbies, which means we are typically having to engage equipment or concerted time towards whatever we’re doing. For Josh, that typically means he has to vacate the garage of our cars and pull out a lot of machinery. For me, that means less concerted effort, but a lot of time. This weekend, we had all of that since Mack and her best friend decided to go all-in on their time together.

Saturday, I was able to get a massage (which I do monthly – as should you all), workout, prepare food for the week, do laundry, run, glaze mugs for an etsy order, and Josh and I went to a late dinner when Mack went to spend the night at her BFF’s. Sunday I was able to crochet alpaca legs (and most of an alpaca body), dehydrate some food, workout, run, and basically just do whatever was needed. Josh was able to practice forging, reorganize the garage and shed, play volleyball, and generally relax. So, we had a productive and relaxing weekend.

Knowing I had created this blog and that I would most likely comment on our weekends, I tried to be cognizant of what I was doing and whether I felt rushed, pressured, or otherwise inconvenienced by my activities. I can officially say that I did not. I crocheted alpaca legs on our drive to REI. I had the television on while crocheting and while making food in the kitchen. I listened to some hilarious podcasts on both my runs…in general I felt like my time was well-spent.

If you feel lethargic, or like you’ve been watching tv for a while, why don’t you try standing up and stretching? I REGULARLY do jumping jacks or a ten-minute ab workout while watching tv. Why not? What else am I doing? We can all do it if we stand up and do it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Making the decision to do something is often WAY more time consuming than actually doing something.

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You pull your weight, I’ll pull mine.

Last night my friend asked me if I had any other “methods” like the “laundry method”. I texted him back with some things I do, but in reality the biggest thing my husband and I do at our house is split evening responsibilities. You’ll note I didn’t say “household”, “kid”, or “chores”. EVENING responsibilities. What this means is that one of us is the responsible parent for the evening and that parent is the one that guides our crazy ship into dock that night. When I say “split”, I mean we alternate nights. We have been married for 12.5 years and have practiced this for about nine of them. Our daughter happens to be a little over nine years old…this is not a coincidence.

My husband and I are very different individuals when it comes to interpersonal styles, strategy (or strategic thinking, if you’d prefer), and food preferences. That said, we are both very logical and realistic. As such, we have a very, very good ability to create lists of things in our heads and keep track of things – things like who did the last load of dishes, who changed the last three diapers, etc. When Mack was an infant we realized VERY quickly that if we were going to survive an infant AND stay happily married then we needed to introduce some diplomacy to the mix. So, I created a system whereby every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday one of us would be responsible for all things after work (which, admittedly, was mostly baby related since that was our whole world at the time). The other person got Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, with Saturday being a free-for-all. The point-person would make dinner, take care of Mack, bathe her, put her to bed, etc. The other person was free to schedule book club, volleyball, golf, whatever. The person not on-point for the evening was responsible for dishes and had zero veto power on what was watched on television after Mack went to bed.

Nine years later, and we still adhere to this method. Sure, we don’t actually have to bathe Mack anymore, and she has to clean up after herself at meals, but we still have the responsible party for all major decisions (like how late Mack can stay up), homework assistance, and reading books before bedtime. We still allow the responsible party to choose what we watch after Mack is in bed, and the really great part is that Mack is so used to this she simply knows “whose night it is” so she doesn’t even bother to attempt to pit us against each other. In all these nine years of this “method of fairness and equality” I can honestly say we have never argued about any of this stuff. Never. Not once have we thrown a fit at the other for not pulling their own weight. It is the most serene existence, and it still allows us to do what we want to do. Josh still plays on a volleyball league as well as a basketball league. I make pottery and do crafts, and we both occasionally go out with friends to see movies. Not once do we ever have to remind the other person they have “been out a lot this week”, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

The cool part of it is that we both occasionally travel for work so we pay it forward with our responsibilities. So, if I’m going to be gone two nights one week, I front-load the week prior so Josh can take care of any hobby stuff, lounging, etc. that he wants to do, and vice versa.

The really genius part of all of this is that we’re not excluding anyone. If I don’t have pottery to make or plans to go somewhere then I’m eating with my family and hanging out playing board games just like normal. But if I want to go take a bath and read a book during Mack’s bedtime, I don’t have to feel guilty because the routine is already set. Having a systematic plan (which seems very confining) is actually the most freeing thing in the world! It frees you up to make that loaf of bread, crochet that baby blanket while watching football, or to go play nine holes without any feelings of guilt. No one feels abandoned, no one feels put-upon, and we are all the happier for it.

Fitting it in means equality in responsibility and enjoyment of the freedom of procedure.

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Average doesn’t mean mediocre.

Growing up, I didn’t really have a sense of wanting to be the “best” at something. Sure, I always wanted to be good at what I did, but I didn’t have an overwhelming sense of needing to be the BEST. I played clarinet and was happy to be in the top band, but didn’t need to be first chair. I ran track but was perfectly fine with a top-three finish. I made excellent grades, but I wasn’t a top graduate. Do not confuse this with being apathetic or not being competitive. I am extremely competitive IF there is a chance I can do well (if it’s something where I stink then I truly don’t care). But competitiveness means I want to do well; it does NOT mean I have to actually win everything.

The funny thing is, once I got to college it seemed like it was a weakness that I didn’t WANT to be the absolute best. Everything is about winning. Winning a game, an argument, a challenge, whatever. And obviously, in a world where winning is the key, that means there are a LOT of losers – which is a totally ridiculous outlook. In any given scientific analysis there is a bell curve. If winning is the top of that curve, and losing is the bottom, then the vast majority of people are in the middle – the average. For a very long time in college and beyond I observed a lot of people being unhappy with average or feeling like average is a bad thing, and I subscribed to that too. No one ever brags about their “average” kid or their “average” waistline. People brag about the things they do BETTER than average in life. And I find this silly. Average is not mediocre; mediocrity means something isn’t very good. Average means it actually IS GOOD.

The thing that made me think about this was my lunchtime run. I understand many of you work in an office and say, “Lindsay, I can’t run at lunch, this is a silly discussion”, but I ran at lunch when I went to the office every day. The difference was that I showered after my run when I worked in an office. Nowadays I just sit in my sweat and enjoy the fact no one can smell it. In Dallas I joined a gym near my office, ran three miles, showered, and went back to the office. Then I ate my lunch at my desk – which is what a lot of people do anyway, they are simply working THROUGH lunch. I refuse to do that. I have worked at the same company for over ten years and I STILL block an hour on my calendar for lunch every day. Sure, some days it moves or I only get half an hour, but I take that time for myself and I typically choose to run.

Today’s run was super windy, but the temperature was amazing and the sun actually came out, so it was a win. I ran about 3.25 miles because I got a late start from a meeting going long, but it was a good 3.25 miles. I finished and said, “man, I wish I had run five” and took a pause to congratulate myself. Congratulations on running ANY miles, instead of feeling like I hadn’t run enough miles. Typically I run about an 8:30 mile (shorter if it’s not windy, longer if it’s a bomb cyclone), so I understand that I can probably fit in more miles than someone else on their lunch break (and have time to cool down before the next meeting). But when people ask how I fit in running without it eating into my family life, the answer is I do it at lunch. If you can’t run, go do some stairs, walk around the office building, pace the hallways of your school. ANY miles are better than no miles, and anything that takes you out of the workday for some YOU time is time well spent.

I worked for a software company in undergrad and we had a lot of smokers. They would all go take smoke breaks about once an hour and I got fed up that they got all these perceived “breaks” when those of us NOT giving ourselves cancer had to tough it out inside. So, I instituted “non-smoking smoke breaks”. Every time the smokers went out, I grabbed a Frisbee and brought the non-smokers with me. We had many a rousing game of Frisbee before the last cigarette was extinguished, got some sun, got some exercise, and had fun.

These are easy moments you can create if you just do it. The time it takes you to contemplate doing things like this can take way longer than actually picking up the Frisbee and tossing it at your coworker’s head.

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Don’t mind me; go on with what you were saying.

Working from home affords me some luxuries you don’t get when you work in an office. While I do change out of pajamas every day, I am only changing into workout clothes so it’s very rare my team sees me wearing sleeves. We do share webcams on all our calls, but we don’t adhere to any kind of dress code for them. Every other Wednesday my team has a “Webcam Wednesday” meeting where the whole team works from their respective houses and we all share our webcams for the team meeting. Everyone has seen tank tops, robes, towels, costumes, kids…it’s kind of a free-for-all but very effective when building a team culture.

Dress code aside, my team also gets to see me eat really weird stuff. Because I follow timed-nutrition with Beachbody, I’m eating every 2-3 hours and those aren’t what some people would find to be normal meals. People have seen me eating green beans at 10:00 in the morning (I would eat green beans at any time of day), raw mushrooms paired with hummus, and lots of egg sandwiches. It allows me to get the nutrition I need when I need it, and my team is very used to this activity. I do eat this way when I go into the the office as well, but I really feel the look is pulled off much nicer when I’m eating mushrooms wearing a tank top.

On some days, the team gets to see Mack. Other days, they just hear her. Like today. Once a month Mack’s school has early dismissal. Why do kids need to get out of school one hour early one day a month? Because the school district says so, that’s why. Today, she came inside (after reading her instructional white board in the garage, which tells her when I’m on a call), placed her backpack on our kitchen island chairs (barstools?), and the chair somehow fell on her while also twisting her leg into the chair leg. While on webcam, I bolt out of my chair, tell the team I have to mute, and proceed to get an ice pack for Mack and soothe her injured pride. MEANWHILE, back at the ranch, the team decides to start telling jokes to pass the time until I get back. I was both trying not to laugh at their jokes (since I can hear them on my earpiece), and was impressed they were all clean jokes. I jumped back on the call, explained what happened, applauded their ability to riff while I took care of my emergency, and we proceeded.

It’s because I have such an understanding and awesome team that scenarios work out like that without issue. The world has changed from the typical 9-5 job where women were expected to wear pantyhose to work and not care about work-life balance. It’s great to live in a time when we CAN actually fit it all in – even if it’s not graceful.

Side note: Once Mack was allowed to use her iPad her leg healed itself and angels sang.

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Laundry doesn’t do itself, but that doesn’t mean I do it either.

This morning started per usual: I got up at 6:55, Mack got up at 7, I packed her lunch while she ate breakfast wearing a Godzilla snuggie, I made a Shakeology for myself, and we both went upstairs to change into our respective clothing. While we were upstairs, Mack shouted, “Mommy, come here. I have something for you.” Usually this means she has a surprise hug or kiss waiting for me, so I went down the hall to find out she had pulled out her laundry hamper for me.

To say that we have rules in our house would be misleading. Rules give an indication that there are negative repercussions for things or there are really strict guidelines. Other than not saying the words “stupid” or “hate”, we tend to follow recommendations of what to do (and what not to do). Where we lack in rules, we definitely make up for in recommendations. One of those recommendations is that if you are able-bodied enough to drag your hamper to the hallway, you are able-bodied enough to do your own laundry. As such, everyone in my household does their OWN laundry. People ask how I have time to do things – well, sometimes it’s because I’m only responsible for my own laundry.

My husband is 43. In theory, this means he has three years more experience in laundry than I do, but we all know that isn’t necessarily the case. Nonetheless, I do not do his laundry. He has his own hamper, and when he’s out of clothes he has to do them. That might mean we have a pile of clean laundry on our bedroom floor for a while until he puts them away, but I’m willing to live with that since 1) I am not often giving tours of our bedroom and, 2) I had to do zero work to accomplish this task for him. If he needs the clothes to be wrinkle-free, he knows how to put them away right after they come out of the dryer.

Mack is treated with the same respect. She is nine, she knows how to use the washer and dryer, and she knows how to put all her clothes away neatly. This is borne out of a need for her to learn responsibility and also out of my need to NOT do other people’s laundry. Mack does hers once a week, I do mine every 10-14 days, and Josh is a mystery that is totally dependent upon which shirts he needs clean.

Now, back to this morning. While Mack understands her laundry is her responsibility, she tends to be more pitiful in the mornings and tries to take advantage of that. Meanwhile, I loathe mornings as much as she does so I rarely cave to any level of pitifulness. I informed her I was thankful she had prepared her laundry so efficiently and instructed her that when she takes it downstairs and starts the washer, I might be so inclined to move them to the dryer for her during the day so she can put them away when she gets home. Begrudgingly, she thanked me and did so. Now I get to look forward to the time SAVED by not putting her laundry away later. Maybe I’ll do some pottery at that time. Maybe I’ll crochet an alpaca. The point is, I’m not doing it and she understands what a time suck it is and will be more gracious with me the next time I do endeavor to help her with something. It’s a win-win.

Also, you might be asking how I get away with NOT doing my husband’s laundry. The answer is I never started that. I have found doing those things randomly leads to expectations, and that’s not anything I need to set for myself or others. The only times we do laundry for one another is when we lose a bet, and even then the bet is usually something like, “you have to put your laundry away as soon as you take it out of the dryer…for a month.” You’d be amazed how few bets your spouse takes when you make bets like that.

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Well, we’re here so I guess we should figure out what to do…

Hi there! My name is Lindsay and I have a busy life. I mean, we all have busy lives right? It doesn’t matter if you have five kids, one kid, zero kids, one plant that never seems to have enough water…we all have busy lives. What we don’t have a lot of, perceptually, is time. The last time I checked, the Earth rotates normally and we all end up with 24 hours a day to accomplish what we want (and for me, at least eight of those are sleeping, so that starts me behind a bit). We all go to bed with aspirations of productivity the next day and then we wake up and the day has its own aspirations.

Setting the stage: I have one child (a nine-year old girl), one husband, and one cat. I have a full-time job managing 12 people who are dispersed across the country, my company is based in Dallas, and I live in Ohio. I work from home, which affords me some abilities to be more efficient with my day, but working from home does not equate to me goofing off; if anything it means I accomplish MORE with my day but utilize my time differently. As such, there may be times when you say, “Lindsay, don’t be ridiculous. Those of us who have to go into an office/school/hospital/etc. don’t have time to do what you do.” To that I say, “pffht”. I worked in an office for years prior to working from home, so I get it.

We all have time to fit it all in – being a parent, a productive worker bee, an athlete, a student, etc. (and we can do all of those if we want to!) But how we manage our time and what we choose to be most important for each moment are what define our accomplishments (or lack thereof) for the day. We make so many little choices during the day that we don’t even realize we’re making. Are we sitting on the couch to watch television, or are we walking on a treadmill while we do that? Are we all sitting on various seating locations using technology, or are we engaging with other people in some way? How can we better utilize our time to fit in the things we WANT to do with the things that have become habit (or things we feel OBLIGATED to do)?

I have never been a blogger, and I don’t aspire to do anything with this other than share some stories, maybe make some laughs, and hopefully help some other folks with how to better organize their lives. On an average day I make time to workout, put my daughter on the bus, work a full day, run outside, spend time with my family, and do at least one craft (crochet, pottery, or planning world domination). Then I sleep for eight hours. That is an average day, and it all works. I don’t go to bed stressed out or feel like I missed out on something. The key is my statement that I “make time” to do these things. I structure my day such that I can FIT IT ALL IN.

Tell me your stories, your challenges, your jokes, and share pictures of what you do to help others organize themselves!

Reward Systems are Your Friends

I had an extremely productive weekend. I worked out, ran, made some pottery, recovered six dining room chair pads, and bought two new televisions. Now, my husband and daughter helped with the TVs, but otherwise it was all about figuring out how to do all of that and still hang out with my family. The answer: rewards. Our children respond well to rewards. You know, “go poopy in the potty and I will give you a jumbo marshmallow” (yes, I am drawing upon experience here). Well, it turns out adults respond well to rewards also. Have you ever tried it? “If I have this healthy food then I can have that fatty food later”. Or maybe even, “if I skip the carbs at dinner I can have a glass of wine later.” Either way, you can see that rewards probably play a role in adult lives more than you think.

Have you ever tried this with more than food? What about life? I JUST sat down for the evening and before I allowed myself to do this I made myself scotchguard my last two chairs (I ran out yesterday and had to purchase more at the store today). I could have put off doing it, but I needed to put the scotchguard away anyway, so why not take the five minutes to do it, let the chairs dry, and reward myself by watching my current favorite show while I wait for the chairs to dry? In fact, I am fairly certain it took LESS than five minutes, but in my head it was going to take MUCH longer.

Rewards can make your day go from low-medium productivity to medium-high without stealing your time. And we all respond well to productivity, so why not create easy ways for you to achieve it?

Also, if you feel you need a jumbo marshmallow for more than just pooping on the potty, I say go for it…

From Iceland to Summer in one Fell Swoop

It has been a while since I made time to blog and that is because May is the month of the devil. Those with even just one kid know that May is the time when all school projects, plays, performances, conference, and ceremonies occur. It is a time of havoc, chaos, celebration, and exhaustion. Somehow we are supposed to progress our children to the next grade of school, maintain our jobs and lives, while also maintaining some semblance of sanity. Oh, throw in there a trip to Iceland with 16 other people and you have a recipe for success.

Now that I have returned, I can honestly tell you Iceland is gorgeous. The city of Reykjavik is just another major city…super touristy, lots of English, and stellar music choices everywhere you turn. But, once you venture out of the city, the landscape becomes this beautiful thing that you can only behold there. Terrains that look like other planets; volcanoes, glaciers, waterfalls, and the opportunity to get lost in the tranquility of it all. The hiking was amazing, the sights breathtaking, and the experience once-in-a-lifetime.

Reality has set in, however, and this summer my daughter is home with me all day. When I say all day, I mean ALL DAY. She is nine, so she is somewhat self-sufficient, but the schedule of the day has DEFINITELY changed. We now have swimming three mornings a week, which jacks up my workout routine (and our ability to sleep in). We are now getting up half an hour EARLIER than a normal school day, so you can imagine how well that is going over. So now we get up, I take her to swimming before I work, we get home, I make breakfast and start work. Then I workout at lunch and get my run in after work. On the days we do not have swimming at the crack of dawn, I actually get my normal workout in at the start of the day and can run at lunch. I can tell you, this is a big change to my routine. It’s also a change having someone in the house continuously – I am used to pacing and zero noise in the background. Now I hear a piano, games, laughter, and the occasional phrase like, “stop fooling around and help me kill this person” when my daughter is playing Roblox online with her BFF.

My daughter’s schedule has changed dramatically as well. Not only have I had to adjust what I do, but I am coordinating her entire day so that she doesn’t turn into a slovenly beast. She is required to do one book report a week (which entails reading a book she’s never read previously), four workbook pages a day (from all possible subjects), she is writing letters to relatives, and when she doesn’t swim she is required to go outside and ride her bike or play in the sprinkler so she doesn’t forget what the outdoors look like. Additionally she has her normal chores of keeping her rooms clean and putting away laundry. If she does these activities well (and without complaint), then she earns time on her electronics. If not, then she loses the privilege. Needless to say, this has been a nice change but one that was not without growing pains. Also, coordinating all of that while maintaining my full-time job have been a good exercise in patience…for all those concerned.

I tell you all this because it is apparently possible to do all of this without losing your sanity. I utilize the mute button a lot, and have taught my daughter a series of hand signals as ways of interrupting me when she needs something, but otherwise we haven’t killed each other and she hasn’t turned into a lazy summer kid yet. We are only a week in though…so it is still early. 🙂

Coins and exercise are a girl’s best friend

When Mack was about five she received a garmin jr. from a friend in TX. Since my husband and I both use garmin devices, it worked well to sync her up with us and have step competitions (especially when we go to Disney), and it was also informative to monitor her sleep. The REALLY beneficial thing about it though, is the virtual coins. Within the app we program chores and things she has to accomplish around the house or throughout her day. Things like laundry, brushing her teeth, unpacking her backpack, etc. Each responsibility has an associated amount of coins that she earns which then go towards a reward. These rewards vary from screen time, choosing her own dinner, staying up half an hour later, etc. I cannot tell you how much of a game changer this has been and can not recommend this enough.

Mack was never a chart kind of kid. Stars on a chart did not provide her with any enjoyment, nor did they really feel like she was reaching a goal. The coins allow her to have independence on how she uses them. She can turn some in for short-term satisfaction or she can save them up for something big. Additionally, when she is short coins and wants to use her iPad, she has the knowledge of what she needs to accomplish to earn the coins necessary for that and will embark upon chores unprompted.

This comes in EXTREMELY handy on snow days. Normal days when she is home from school we have a schedule, but snow days are those days that hit you without warning (usually) and you might not have a full day planned out. Since I work from home, I need her to understand what she has the ability to do, but without me having to tell her constantly.

The other thing she can do to earn iPad time is exercise. This is outside the realm of coins, so it bears mentioning. For half an hour of iPad time she is required to do ten full pushups (not on her knees), 20 full sit-ups, and either ten full pull-ups on the pull-up bar or 30 jumping jacks. She is a swimmer and sees me working out all the time, but this helps instill a sense of accomplishment and reward with exercising.

The great thing about all of this is that since she isn’t allowed to watch television or be on an electronic for most of the day, she has time to do real things…educational things, crafty things. It is currently 11:17 in the morning and she has already made four different jewelry items, practiced piano for her recital today, and written a story about the Underground Railroad.

I guess the point is, instilling a sense of purpose and accomplishment to earn the activities your kid wants to do is not a bad thing. I know it takes a bit of setup and work to establish the pattern, but I can tell you that it is worth it. There are no arguments. There are not moments of crying. If she doesn’t have coins and doesn’t want to exercise, then she has nothing to bargain with and has to find other things to do. With that, I will leave you with a picture of her in the yoga swing in our basement. Yoga swing companies: she is available to hire.